Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Frustrated

I am really frustrated today. And I do not get frustrated easily. In fact, I'm a pretty laidback person most of the time. Sure when things get stressful, my fuse gets shorter, but I have never been so frustrated so frequently as I have the past few months.

I am frustrated with my job for a myriad of reasons. I am really frustrated with the quickly fading possibility of joining the Foreign Service. The reports coming out of the State Department (as heard through a listserv grapevine that I belong to) are really depressing and my hopes of getting hired sometime next year seem to be vanishing quickly.

I'm really frustrated with an online dating service I belong to. Yes, I have done these off and on for several years but I've decided that I'm over it this time.

I'm frustrated with my weight and my seeming inability to stop eating. Thankfully I'm not super overweight, just 10-15 pounds would get me feeling healthy and sexy, but man, I just can't seem to get motivated enough to increase the exercise and decrease the eating.

I'm frustrated spiritually. Next week we start a ten day Pentecost prayer and fast through church. I'm looking forward to it, but in the meantime, I'm frustrated with where I'm at.

I'm frustrated with my life in general. I've got a good job that pays well, a roof over my head, food to eat, friends to spend time with, more than one set of clothes, a loving family, the ability to travel and hope and plan for the future, the ability to freely worship anytime and anywhere, physical security and physical health and so much more. But I'm feeling stuck and frustrated by that. I'm grateful for the many blessings I do have but I'm still feeling dissatisfied somehow.

So I'm frustrated, but I keep putting one foot in front of the other and I'm not giving up and I'm still going. The road ahead is long and curvy and rough and hard and dark, but I'm not stopping or turning back.

I press onward.

On this road to remember.

4 comments:

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

You're not the only frustrated one :) My job isn't great either. Hang in there. You are beautiful Lisa and God has you right where He wants you.

Anonymous said...

i certainly understand frustration--but hang in there! what doesn't kill you, is making you more refined! ;)

crtidefan

Consul-At-Arms said...

I know the lack of information about the upcoming/changed FSWE format is frustrating, but this too shall pass. I'm convinced that the FS accession process selects (whether intentionally or not) for those with the persistance to stick with it, no matter how long or frustrating the process.

For ex: I first began taking the FSWE in 1997. Ten years later and I've just now received tenure, even though I was hired in 2001.

It can be done, hang in there.